We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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MAKE MY DAY
ANY WHICH WAY
Issue 3 - September 1999
According to some reports, the 'Man With No Name' also had unspeakable personable habits on set. So unspeakable, in fact, that his simian co-star in the 'Any Which Way' movies refused to share a trailer with him.
But is that all there is to the story? It would seem not.
Celebrity Bestiality has obtained a rare transcript of an interview Clyde gave in the mid-eighties through the famous 'speaking' ape, Koko.
"Clyde sad, Clint no love", a particularly telling passage reads. He then goes on to describe a relationship that was not only physical, but so one-sided and demanding as to make Clyde wonder if Clint actually had any feelings for him at all.
By spinning in a counter-clockwise motion on his tyre swing, scratching his bottom and then sniffing his finger, experts believe Clyde is trying to portray to his keepers the anguish he still feels over the failed relationship that cost him his innocence - and his career.
"It's pretty sad, really", said a staff member who refused to be named. "Clint gets a ranch and about a zillion dollars, and the poor ape who helped him get to the top spends his days eating bananas, masturbating furiously and wondering what might have been".