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We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.

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Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.

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ARCHIVED ARTICLE



BUDDY & BILL
vs.
CAPITOL HILL

Issue 7 - February 2000


Who's a good boy, then?

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into The White House...

Unconfirmed reports from Washington suggest that Bill Clinton has forgone the occasional gobble from interns in favour of a good old-fashioned face-licking from faithful Labrador retriever, 'Buddy'.

Punsters amongst you may appreciate that if George Jr. wins the upcoming presidential election, then Bill Clinton will have spent his entire double term surrounded by Bush. Why then, we ask ourselves, would he settle for a bird-dog in the hand?

Admittedly, a dog is less likely to testify - and is a marked improvement on the likes of Ms Lewinsky, especially in the 'big hair' stakes. Also, unlike Hillary, Buddy would probably have no objection to doing it doggie-style while 'Members of Congress' waited in the outer office. Woof!

Where exactly Bill keeps his cigars these days is anybody's guess, but we do have this rare photo of Lyndon Johnson teaching his beloved Yuki to adopt the 'humidor' pose. At least, that's what we think he's doing...

What's this all about, then?

Should this latest scandal hit the broadsheets, Clinton could very well find himself hounded out of office. (Surely you mean 'orifice' - Ed.)

'Socks' the cat could not be reached for comment.



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