We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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IT REALLY SHITZU
Issue 8 - March 2000
When we first heard that the Hanson boys had a furry little dog-moppet called 'Wicket', we felt it our duty to investigate further. When we discovered that the unfortunate pup had died in mysterious circumstances, alarm bells started ringing.
Sadly, after many hours of fruitless searching (Isaac OR Taylor OR Zac +Wicket "duct tape") we failed to find a single shred of proof pointing to a puppy pounding by the perky pop stars.
The YMS Site (Young Male Stars) did provide us with a quick giggle when it erroneously listed the dog's untimely demise under the heading 'Fun Hanson Facts', but as it didn't provide any real details we had to look elsewhere for our dirt.
Efforts to cash in on The Smoking Gun's recent success led to an abortive attempt to link the scandal to alleged 'millionaire' and 'comedian' Rick Rockwell - but sadly we had admit defeat yet again. While Rick may claim to have opened for such luminaries as Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick, Ray Charles and James Brown, there is no proof that he has ever met the Hanson boys in a animal sex free-for-all. In fact, the only bestial link we could come up with was that Rick is a publicity hound.
So there it is. Despite having an extra day to do it in, we tried - but failed - to bring you a decent story this month.
A disgraceful performance, but we hope that you can somehow forgive us.