We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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TERROR IN TOYTOWN
Issue 9 - April 2000
We here at Celebrity Bestiality have made a discovery so very, very shocking that we feel we must, for the first time ever, present the evidence in full living colour.
When pursuing a civil claim that accused the Toytown police force of racism and victimisation, Mr G. Golliwog (of no fixed address) insisted that the CCTV evidence of his arrest was 'misrepresentative'.
In a surprise move, Judge Jumbo responded by demanding the release of all CCTV footage taken on the night of the arrest. The case was settled out of court the next day with full damages being awarded to Mr Golliwog.
And now we know why.
Thanks to resources within a local transport firm that handled the tapes, we have obtained digital captures of the footage in question. Our source refused to give his name, but did demand that we pay him sixpence for the pictures. He also requested that we obscure the identity of one of the parties involved. As intimate congress with a goblin is not illegal in Toytown, we saw fit to honour this request.
While the image above was taken a full two hours before the arrest of Mr Golliwog, it certainly has no direct bearing on the case - but the footage below leaves us in no doubt as to why certain parties wanted to prevent its release.
