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Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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SCOOBY DOO,
HOW COULD YOU?!
Issue 14 - September 2000
In a shocking scandal set to rock the Sydney Olympics to its foundations, the Scooby Doobies have withdrawn from all events in light of recent findings surrounding their team captain, ex-amateur-detective Scooby Doo.
Details are yet to be confirmed, but it is widely believed that the informant is one Orful Octopus, a key member of the Really Rottens' cycling squad, who reportedly dished the dirt in order to oust the main competition and thus (finally) secure the gold.
Despite its source and the obvious motivations behind the leak, the scandal cannot be denied. For years public suspicion has focused on matters such as:
- Why did Scooby and Shaggy always ride together in the back of the Mystery Machine?
- What was it with all that hugging, holding, giggling, kissing and licking?
- Just how far would Scooby go for a Scooby Snack?
Now the proof is there for all too see, distributed across the Internet in MPEG format and shared via a billion inter-office emails. The footage is grainy, the lighting is dim, but there is no mistaking the disgracefully entwined figures that, according to sources, were captured on a CCTV camera in the kitchen of an allegedly haunted mansion.
Not willing to bear the brunt of Scooby's shame, the Scooby Doobies have dropped out of all events, including the Animated Mountain Bike Marathon in which they were favourites to take the honours. The Yogi-Yahooeys are also well-placed in this event, but with the multi-limbed power of Orful Octopus behind their team, the Really Rottens seem set to win a major event for the first time in history.
After a daredevil escape involving several accomplices known only as 'the gang', Shaggy is now back in police custody awaiting trial. Scooby is believed to be in hiding, his public image and Olympic dreams in tatters.
And just think, they would have got away with it... if it weren't for that pedalling squid!