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Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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Issue 17 - December 2000
For most Brady Bunch fans, the true story of the original Tiger has always been shrouded in myth, superstition and hearsay. Finally, Celebrity Bestiality can set the record straight.
It was during the filming of "Katchoo" (the episode where Jan is allergic to Tiger's flea powder) that the original Tiger was suddenly and unexpectedly replaced. Mere weeks after the show went to air in October 1969; the studio was forced to admit an exchange had taken place due to the high number of viewers that noticed the switch.
Their version of events was that poor Tiger had chased and caught the business end of a flower truck - a version of the 'truth' that has been repeated endlessly since by every cast member… except one.
During questioning on an unrelated charge in 1997, Mike Lookinland broke down under interrogation and revealed the awful truth behind the Tiger conspiracy; that the popular pooch fell foul of the 'no contact' clause, strictly forbidding romantic connections between cast members.
Despite Tiger's relationship with Ann B. Davis being an "open secret" on set, it was some time before puritan producer Sherwood Schwartz discovered the affair - but when he did, retribution was swift and severe.
"It was right in the middle of a take when Mr Schwartz overheard a careless remark by a lighting operator " said Lookinland, "he just took one look at Ann, grabbed Tiger by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out into the yard."
It was there that Schwartz reportedly beat Tiger to a bloody pulp with sections of scrap wood that were on hand for an upcoming episode ("A Clubhouse is Not a Home").
Despite obvious distress to cast and crew, Schwartz was determined to continue filming. A quick script change had Tiger running away from home as crew members desperately searched for a replacement at the local pound. By late that afternoon, the new 'Tiger' was on set; the blood had been hosed off the Astroturf and life at the Brady house continued as normal - with one small exception.
The very next episode (unaired in the US) had the character of Mr Brady designing and building a patio extension, and it was here that the final piece - and the bloody corpse of one of television's greatest animal stars - fell into place.
Ann B. Davis, while never speaking publicly of the affair, stated quite clearly that the main condition of her involvement in "The Brady Bunch Movie" was that she not appear on the remodelled set - and fair enough. Some memories are just too hard to bear.