We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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THE QUEEN LIKES IT:
DOGGIE STYLE!
Issue 19 - February 2001
We here at Celebrity Bestiality have been reliably informed that the British Monarchy is in crisis.
It wasn't too long ago that Her Majesty was able to splash out on fine coats and accessories for her corgis and dorgis, but sadly those days are over. These days she is living off a far more modest allowance and even pays tax on that, the poor dear. Judging by what she usually walks around in of late, she has trouble enough clothing herself, never mind the poor doggies.
We feel for her, we really do - which is why we want to help.
This month, Celebrity Bestiality has commissioned a special and exclusive T-shirt as a gift for Her Royal Highness to help keep her wardrobe up to scratch with top-class kit and, at the same time, openly display her love for the royal pooches.
As you can see, it's the top quality 100% cotton deal we're talking about here - none of that cheap rubbish from the colonies. The back features a highly detailed and dead classy portrait of the classic Welsh Corgi, while the front sports the tastefully-sized logo of your favourite family website.
Of course, you may have read in the papers that the dotcom world is suffering a cash crisis of its own, so we have requested that Her Majesty wear the shirt on at least one formal occasion so we can get a bit of free publicity.
She's under no obligation to do so, it'd just be nice is all...