We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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A NEW ERA FOR McCARTHY
Issue 24 - July 2001
Jenny McCarthy is mostly famous for stretching her 15 minutes of fame to an excruciating 7 years but, if recent reports are any indication, her career is about to take a startling new direction.
In a recent interview, Jenny was asked what she would be if she could be any animal. She replied: "I'd be a dog. But a dog in the United States, not a dog in China or Japan, because they get eaten. Look how pampered dogs are. You get to relax in front of the fire, get let out to go to the bathroom, get stroked and petted."
Wise words indeed, and especially telling when you consider that she seems unable to keep her tongue inside of her head for more than a minute at a time.
I'm sure you know where we're going with this and yes, we can confirm that Ms McCarthy has just signed with an unnamed travelling circus as the Amazing Dog Woman of Chicago, Illinois.
The new act will feature Jenny making the most of her natural talents by rolling over, playing dead and fetching sticks live on stage. The grand finale is to include Jenny 'speaking' on command and licking her own genitals.
Tickets go on sale next month.