We are frustrated tabloid hacks with a common interest in red-hot monkey love and we wish to bring to you the stories that our editors dare not print. Read our profile page to find out more.
Celebrity Bestiality was published monthly from 1999 until 2003. Then, after a suggestion made at a somewhat regrettable social gathering, we went away to have a good, long, hard look at ourselves. Now we're back.
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MONKEH: TRAGIC
Issue 33 - April 2002
Now that the dream is finally over for ITV Digital, the ITV Monkey (like so many other forgotten animal mascots before him) has been thrown onto the garbage pile of advertising history.
However, in a move that's sure to delight plushies and bestiality freaks alike, Monkey has defiantly announced plans to launch a new career in hardcore pornography.
Monkey recently sat in on a top-secret production meeting with porn legend Ron Jeremy and other stuffed animals who had, until recently, also enjoyed careers in lucrative advertising campaigns. Reportedly, a deal that suited all parties was hammered out before lunchtime.
The news was announced at a press conference the next day as Monkey, surrounded by a bevy of booblicious beauties, formally stated his intention to appear as the star of Ron Jeremy's latest project, a 'pornographic re-imagining' of The Planet Of The Apes.
The first part of the planned trilogy is expected in Soho cinemas this summer and on cheap bootleg tapes about a week after that.